Your Focus Isn't 2024

Many years ago, I attended a local association meeting for heads of Atlanta independent schools. A recently retired head of school, in his late 60’s by then, was the guest speaker. He spoke to us - approximately forty heads - about what he had learned about life after headship. He had no regrets about leaving his school after two decades as its head of school; he knew it was time to leave when he began to sweat the small stuff. For those first few weeks of retirement, he enjoyed the silence around him - no emails or texts, no late-night calls or emergencies, no meetings on his calendar, no evening or weekend events. He woke up on his own, read the newspaper while sipping his morning coffee, went and played golf, and generally enjoyed being the master of his day and week. After a few months, he was bored. He wanted to do things but he didn’t know what. For the first time in many years, he said to us, he began to wonder how he wanted to spend his time and what interested him. Many heads were nodding around the room; clearly the story resonated with others. At the time, I was in my early thirties; by some measures, I was one of the youngest in the room and three decades younger than the speaker. I asked myself about my own plans after headship and realized I had none. I knew, however, that even if my career as a head of school took me well into my 60’s, I could not wait until then to decide on my answer. Would I even have the health and other means to satisfy my interests?

Fast forward some years and, in June 2020, I left The Children’s School (TCS) on my terms. My post-TCS plans canceled due to COVID, I was doing a recruiting job and some consulting, unsure whether either would form any part of my long-term post-headship future. I had made some new relationships, one of whom runs an organization of fundraising consultants based out of Atlanta. At one meeting over coffee a year ago, he said to me, “Nishant, there’s a saying: at your 20th high school reunion, everyone will ask and wonder about what you are doing. At your 30th, it’s all about who you are. And at your 40th, it’s about what’s most important to you.” Is it necessary, I asked, to wait until my 30th or 40th to reorganize my life around who I am and what’s important to me? I enjoy the reflection such questions prompt: whose life am I living today? Whose life are you living now?

If you can envision a particular life ten years from now but it’s not the one you’re living, then what is stopping you from making different choices today? And, whatever your reasons, how do you know they are legitimate and not simply excuses stopping you from living on your terms and not on someone else’s? A parent at TCS once shared a quote with me over breakfast, “We are kept from our goals not by obstacles but by an easier path to a lesser goal.” Do you know your higher goals? Is the life you’re leading now creating the person you want to be and in service of what matters to you? When I left a multi-year contract and a six-month all paid sabbatical, and turned down other six-figure salaries, in lieu of a self-funded year in India, I kept questioning my choice and my sanity. But every time I considered who I am and what I value, I knew I was making the right decision. For myself. When I left another well-paid job a year ago to focus on building my own team and consultancy, again some friends and family asked me whether I was doing the right thing. I can tell you that at no time during this last year have I questioned the decision. It was, again, the right choice for me.

As 2024 begins, these questions center for me my long-term interests and values even if the choices come at the expense of some short-term gain. The transition of one year into another prompts all kinds of reflections, but I urge you to reject those annual resolutions and instead, choose to see past this one year. Your focus isn’t 2024.

Thank you for reading Still Day One. This post is public so feel free to share it.